Petunia's Secret
by Noelle Andrews
Summary: Petunia finally talks about her sister and what she truly felt for her and answers a few questions.


**PETUNIA'S SECRET**

Lily was always perfect and I hated that. Flawless figure, nice complexion, shiny hair, emerald eyes... she had it all. Not only that, but she was special because she was a witch. She waved a stick around and said mumbo jumbo, turning buttons into beetles and making birds appear out of thin air. Those were all stupid little things that I could never do. Why? Because everyone and everything seemed to love Lily. But that was including me. I loved my sister; we rarely fought, we played games together, we'd play duets on the old piano. We were inseparable.

I thought she'd be around forever. One name was never heard without the other. It was always "Oh, the Evans sisters" or "Lily and Petunia, the two flowers of the Evans family". She promised me that she'd be around forever and never let anything happen to me. She promised.

I remember it well. It was back when we were thirteen. We were sitting at the piano, playing "Heart and Soul", the first song we ever learned to play together. We both finished with a flourish and sat in silence for a while. I was thinking of my Auntie Jane, who passed away just a week ago. I turned my head, trying to wipe away my tears without her knowing. But Lily could always tell when something was wrong.

She scooted a little closer to me, whispering, "What's wrong, Patty?" Heh, She always used the pet name. I never really minded much.

Well, I answered, "I miss Auntie Jane and now that I know what it feels like to lose a loved one, I don't ever want to feel it again, Lily."

She smiled sadly at me. "Patty, everyone's gotta go sometime. You just have to understand that everything happens for a reason." I was silent, chewing on my lower lip until it hurt too much.

"Promise me that you'll always be there, Lily," I said quietly.

"I will," she answered firmly, "I'll never let anything happen to you. I'll do all I can to make sure of that." I smiled at her, brushing away the last of my tears.

From then on, I made her promise at the beginning of every month. It comforted me and made my life so much better. And she kept her promise each month.

Until we were seventeen.

The family was shopping for her school supplies in Diagon Alley. It had been the first time I had ever been there. Everything amazed me. There were screaming socks, candies that made you float in the air, quills that write for you, and even flying broomsticks!

But it wasn't any of these that amazed me most. I saw a boy walking towards us, smiling broadly. He had an inextinguishable fire in him; you could see it in his eyes. I felt a sort of tingle in me. I'd never felt anything like it before.

"Hello... Lily," he said, still smiling. I remember thinking that he had a beautiful smile.

"Sod off, Potter," Lily spat, stepping around him. For a fleeting second he looked awfully heartbroken and angry. But only a second and nothing more.

He smiled again, a little less broad, and the fire in his eyes died down just a little. He then politely stuck out a hand to Mother, saying, "James. James Potter. If you don't mind me saying so, you have a beautiful daughter who must get her looks from you."

Mother shook his hand. "Oh, and, um, would you mind not telling Lily that I said that about her?" James quickly added. Mother chuckled and nodded in reply.

James then turned to Father and offered his hand to shake. "I can already tell that Lily must have gotten her fiery personality from you, Mr. Evans."

Father shook his hand and smiled. "I like you, James Potter," he had said.

And then he turned to me at last and I swear my heart stopped beating. He offered his hand, as he did with Mother and Father, and I took it. I felt a warm tingling sensation spread through my body the minute my fingers touched his.

"You must be Petunia. Lily talks of you often." I couldn't speak. I stupidly gave a lopsided smile and sort of nodded.

Then, to all of us, James said, "Nice to meet you," before departing.

The rest was kind of a blur; all I could think about was him. In my opinion James Potter was the most perfect boy on earth.

I remember him visiting on all vacations. It amazed me. When I saw Lily's reaction to a simple hello from him in Diagon Alley I came to the quick conclusion that she absolutely and positively hated him. I even began to think that he gave her a love potion or put a spell on her.

I always saw the two doing their stupid little magic tricks in the backyard. I even remember James using magic to make a small figurine that looked exactly like perfect little Lily out of a branch.

As I sat in my room, staring at the ceiling and thinking, I learned to hate magic. It was magic that made my sister special. It was because of magic that James and Lily went to the same boarding school. I often went back to my love potion theory, which made me loathe it more.

Every day that James spent at our house made me fall in love with him more and more. But he barely noticed me. I was just Lily's sister. Slowly, my sister and I grew farther and farther apart. We were no longer "The Evans sisters". Whenever I was mentioned in conversation I was always "Lily's sister".

I had thought that I had already gone through the worst and that Lily would leave the school and James behind, confessing that it was just puppy love. And I thought wrong.

She left the school but didn't leave James. No, they got engaged. And I just couldn't take it anymore.

They were sitting on the porch swing one day. I was leaning against the door frame with my arms crossed. They didn't notice me, nobody ever does. I watched them and saw how perfect they looked together. I didn't exactly know what to say. My eyes welled up with tears, but I tried hard to keep them back.

Not even moving I looked straight at Lily and simply said, "You broke your promise." I knew she'd be able to see it in my eyes and know the exact meaning of my words, she always did. Both of them turned and looked at me. I saw something in Lily's emerald eyes and knew that she understood. I had gone back inside, slamming the screen door behind me. I don't know if she ever came to talk to me because I had packed my bags and left.

I remember going to some pub. Leaking Pipes or something like that. I was planning on poisoning my drink and committing suicide. A man spotted me and took the bottle out of my hand.

He looked into my eyes, as if searching for something, then asked, "Is he really worth it?"

I cried and he comforted me. This man I learned later was Albus Dumbledore. He became my mentor, in a way. He taught me of life and that you should never throw one away. Albus Dumbledore became my best friend.

When I trusted him enough, I told him this exact story. Then he said something that made life so much easier for me, "I'll try to keep the promise that Lily made to you and keep you from harm, Petunia."

And he did. He stopped all my other attempts at suicide. He was my guardian angel. There was even once that I was almost murdered by a man whose name is not spoken by wizards today. It was one of the scariest things to ever happen to me, and I'd rather not speak of it, as I still get nightmares. But Albus was the one who saved me, the one who ensured that I'd live through the experience.

But eventually I couldn't live at his place anymore. School was going to start and he had to work.

And so he left, telling me this, "I shall keep my promise if you'll keep one for me. If ever your sister's child is in danger, he should come here and I want you to take care of him."

I quickly agreed. Compared to what Albus had done for me, this was a small favor. Though seeing a little Potter would only make me remember again and again how I was hurt.

And that, Harry James Potter, is why I hate magic. That's why I hate anything to do with it, because it made my sister break her promise. That's why I hate her. She promised she'd make sure I'd never get hurt, but she's the one who hurt me. She promised she'd always be there, but she's gone. That's why I hate your stupid school, the place where James fell for my sister. That's why I hate the swings at the park because they only make me think of the last time I saw them on the porch swing. That's why I hate you.

* * *

Aunt Petunia had finished her story with tears in her eyes. Harry could only stare at the floor. He hadn't expected this. A few questions he yelled while becoming angry he thought would have made her rant on and on about how she hated his mother.

He definitely hadn't expected this.

Well, he had his answers. Why she hated him, why she hated magic, even what Dumbledore had meant by "remember my last".

Now he understood and wished that he didn't. Now he understood everything.

* * *

A/N: I know that this has a very odd ending, but I wasn't sure how to end it. I was intrigued by the thought that Petunia secretly loved James, it would explain the hatred. I'm not too proud of this story because I just sort of rushed through, not taking time to stop and think. Well, I'd like to know what you thought, so review!


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